’ - _
thay 7, es
GOOD GRIEF
THE Ql IS OFTEN ASKED: IS IT RIGHT FOR A CHRISTIAN PERSON TO GRIEVE? 3
_
on] HOW SHOULD A CHRISTIAN R&ACT TO THE DEATH OF SOMEONE VERY DEAR TO nut IT Is
.
A or ret Ss AA + ARTO Tran Yo ATT! “7 ’ 7 .
A J LL r 1445 OCCURED IN #& NE FORM OR ANOTI N THE LLFE OF EVER
J = OM £ ud O A Lf t IN Bp fa) iL} We EVRY
if OF US--AND WHICH SURELY WILL CONTINUE TO OCCUR. / JUST WHAT IS THE PLACE OF GRIEF
IN T TITIDE ( . GHRISTIAI a DOES IT HAVE A PLi a
‘
THEY its F ) ] I TH ESSALONT 4313 "GRI VE NOT AS ih oi WiO HAVE NO HOPE."
§ HAVE GROWN UP IN THE CHURCH AND AS WE THINK ABO OUR FAITH I'M SURE MANY
ee ee —_—_—_—
OF US FEEL TH Wit VE PAUGHT THAT A TRULY CHRISTIAN PERSON CONFRONTS
—
A DEATH SITUATION HE O lO GRI . ¢ HAVE ALL HEARD 0. HA EVEN SPOKEN,
—
(ORDS OF ADMIRATI O OUT THE Pichi i LOST A LOVD ONS BUT HAS QOL SHOW
k Task
i ate
Gelste qrev “x0 Wek
ANY VISIBLE S RIEF, THIS d £DUS TOSRESPEC'T THE NONGRIEVER—-ANUD TO FORCE
ee ee
JURSELY RAI t rl EVIN ted de LS AS I TF EIGHT WORDS FROM THESS. HAVE
—_——— —
N REDUCED TO TwO-——-SO Ti | HAVE LEFT I { ADMONITI "GRIEVE NOT."
ee —_——
UT TH MONIT I I ak 1 PeTAINL by call o STA. RACTE ITH THE OU Riso
OF PiUOPL: A r i Che LN Wi TD Jisi) & ) B n> 1 APL rs nAVE AID STRONG
——$——
aN, y BD THE COMMUN TY OF PURL OF STRUUGLE GRIEVED,
__ CO
30 RR J AND SHED TEARS WHEY T 1 WAS Ci (IST SAYS "HY TEARS HAVE
—————_—__.. —2

2e
BEE Y FOOD } ‘TER DEQ@YING OUR LORD "WENT OUT AND wEPT.®"
EVERY CHILD KNOWS THE S ‘25. Vitis N Ti IBLE=- "JESUS WEPT."
(HAT i oY REALIZE 15 IAT GRIEF IS COMPATIBLE WITi CHRISTIANITY~—THAT
SORHOW AT THE v ' OF DEATH Ls sf ¥ MEANS THE Sic OF A WAAR FALTH. THE
———
SCRIPTURAL INCE DUES NOT SAY "GRIEVE NOT"--BUT "GS1VE/ NOT AS THOSE WHO HAVE NO
- eos
1OPE."/ WE HAVE HOPE, BUT THAT IN NO SHISE OF THE WORBS KSSPS US FROM GAPERI SNCING
— —___ =
Ar 1
GRIEF IS AN EMOTION THAT IS AS NORMAL TO THE HUAN BEING AS LOVE, OR AS
———————_—————T i
FEAR, OR AS ANGER. ITIS COMMON |! UGE THAT OBR ERJTION THAT IS UNEPRESSED
—————
SILLY AND EVEN DANGEROUS FO UPPOSE THAT WE CAN AVOLD AND REJSCT ANY FEELINGS
a a
Wd RL Fr AT TH » DEATH aie." LOVED Oi Bee
JESUS WEPT, PETER WEPT, THE PSALMIST WEPT. / WHE] WE SAY "GRIsvVE NOT" WE
—_——————
IMPLY THAT WE ARE TO STOICS LIKE THE GREEKS OF OLD. UT WE ARE NOT STOICS, wWE
—_—_—_—_———,
ARE CHRIS TIA! ) IN AK OUR SCHL PTURES WE SBS GRIEFJAS NORMAL AND EVEN POTENTIALLY
— _—_— ee ee
CREATIVE « ) FAL TH iS GRIGF AS A RSFINING FPROCE A PROCESS THAT CAN MAKE A
——
PERSON DEEPER, STRONGE: AND UTE LS TO HELP OTHR$S WHO ARE GRISVING. WE KNOW
Sane SS

36

THAT OUR REDEEMER LIVES,

eed

TIAT GOD LOVES AND CARES FU

——

AND IT IS A BR BUT, JIT DOZS NOT ELIMINATE GRIEF.

THIS MAKES GhIEF BEARABLE j BU

TERS THAT THE EMOTION OF

V

BE COMPL3 TD ALL THE

UP TO A POINT. IF IT BECOMES STALLED AT ANY ONE STAGE OF TH# PROCESS THE RESULTS
— ease phot
ROTH HEALTHY AND CHRISTIAN, BECAUSE KNOW THAT WE,] BACH ONE, WILL FACQE A GRIEF

SITUA TON, I TIQNK IT IS HELPFUL TO LOOK AT THIS GOOD :

THE FIRST STAGE IS SHOCK. GOD HAS MADE US SO TI
—_—

AND EVEN TRAG DY AND SOMEHOW WE ARE ABLE TO BEAR it. /
iene es

OVERWHELMING OUR SENSES ARS DULLED, WE ARE

—

eS oe

IT IS THIS ANESTHESIA, Qi SHOCK STAGE, THAT ALLOWS US

GATHER @URSELVES TOGETHER WITHOUT HAVING TO FACE THE
—_—_——_—____ ———_

UMB-IN RE

PERSISTS THRE J
LL —_—_——

Be Oo Lil
Saino

ri

/
WHEN THE SORROW IS

SPPNSE TO THE TRAGIC axpsatnce /

TU GET OVER THE HUMP, TO

THE SiOCK

FSW DAYS,/ THERE 1S NOTHING

TROUBLE BREWING,

Pe ]

4e

THE TEMPORARY ANESTHESIA OF SHOCK READIZS US Frat THE SEQOND STAGE

WHICH IS EMOTIONAL RELEASE.

THL’ IS THE TIME WHEN IT DAWNS ON US HOW

WHEXXETADX THE FLOODGATES ARE OPEN AND EXCOME ALM(
—————_—_—_—_———

wy

USE THEM WHEN THERE IS REASON

AT TI

T THES POINT OUR SOCLETY HAS MADE A
aan cmneaas

STIGMA TO MEN SHOWING GRISF IN THE NATURAL

— =

BLS THE LOSS Is.

AND THEN
IST UNCONTROLLABLE IN THE

GLANDS TO USE-AND WE SHOULD
onal —=——

GRAVE aaoi/ WE HAVE ATTACHED SOME NEGATIVE

WE SKINNED OUR KNEES, WE WsRE PICKED UP AND TOLD AH, All, NOW, BOYS DON'T cif AND

WHEN WE WERE 1@ AND FELL OFF OUR ELKE WE DID NOT DARE

AT 68 WHEN OUR WIFE DISS WE CANIOT CRY. A TYPICAL MA

—————
fours IS IS NOT nas. / IT IS THE PRSON THAT HOLDS IT

CiY, NOR AT 18 or at 28. AND

N THINKS THAT CRYING IS A SIGN

LT WILL BE THE END OF HIM.

ALL IN THAT 15 IN FOR

(a

TROUELE.

DTION INWARD WHEE? can CHURN

AND BOIL UNTIL IT FINDS AN ssoars, /s
te

CRIPTURS WILL BEAR US OUT, THAT WHEN GREAT

CALAMITIES CAMS T NHV OF FAITH THEY CRIED./ TO THE LA

ENCOURAGEMEN T

, ar PERHAPS A "LET@G NOT OVERDO A GOOD
Sens Saeeenaees

plES, I DON'T THINK YOU Nsep

PHING.

56

THE T IRD STAGE IS A FEELING OF UTTER DESPAIR Al

GOD IS NO LONGER IN HIS weaven, fis IF GOD VOSS NOT CAE

TIME THAT WE ARE SURE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER
—

BUT EVEN IN THs ViRY DEPTHS OF UEPAIR We MUST NOT FORG

EVEN THIS 1S A PART OF GOOD GRIEF.
—

BEEN HIT Sd

DW TSOLAT au / x IS 45 IF

AND IT'S DUHING THIS

HARD AS WE HAVE BEEN HIT.

SY THAT EVEN THIS IS NOiMAL,

PEOPLE BERR US HAVE FELT HE SAME TERRIBIS

ISOLATION AND HAVE ASKED THE SANE vom ART he CAST DOWN, O MY SOUL? I SAY
—_—_—_—_———_—_—————

TO GOD MY ROCK, WHY HAST THOU FORGUTTEN a INS

conf aun FROM THs

CROSS OUR LORD CRIED OUT "MY GOD, My

OE WE ARE SAYING @QMERE IS MY

GOD, WHY HAST THOU

—

THE FOURTH STEP 15 A STAGES OF PHYSICAL SYMPIOMS
———————

1OF DISTRESS. MANY A HOSPITAL

CASE HAS BEEN THE RESULT OF GRIEF THAT REACHED THIS 3]

A

AGE AND STOPPED T HARE.

—_—_—_——

PERSON WHO HAS JUST EXPERIANCE) Tit LOSS OF A LOVED O)

APPETITE OR SVEN WORSE, AND THIS IS NORMAL.

BUT IF GR

THIS STAG. HE WILL

E SUtGLY WAZA LOSE HIS

WE BECOMES BOGGED DOW AT

DALLY IN THE SUBURBS AROUND

AN ILLUSTRATION L&T ME USE A CASE THAT OCCURS

CHIC AGO

THAT CONCERNED WITH DEATH.

6.

MR. AND MRS. A. ARE A YOUNG_COUPLE IN THEIR THIMTIeS WHO LIVE IN A SMALL

TOWN IN IND. OR ILL. THEY HAVE A LOVELY LITTLE HOME,

LIFE IS VERY HAPPY. HE DOESN'T MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY BU

HE LIKES HIS JOR AND THEIR

comes
fi! HiE'@® HOME EVERY NOON FOR

LUNCH, THEY PUTTSR IN THS GARDEN TOGETHSR AND HE'S, HOME BACH DAY AT 5:00, LIFE IS

-BEAUTIFUL, THEY HAVE BOTH B“EN RAISED IN THE COMMUNITY

——

ARE ALL CLOSE BY. BUT THEN ONE DAY MR. A GETS A JOB

THREE TIMES WHAT HE'S MAKING IN THE LITTLE HAVEN. SO

BIG CITY, THSY BUY A NEW HOME, AND EVIRYTHING I5 JUST,

Saeaeiieiaemmne of

HOME TO LUNCH ANYMORE AND HIS WIFE MISSES HIM. BUSINE

_

TWICE A WESK AND SOON HE'S ON THE ROAD. AND NOW HE'S

ALL MRS. A. HAS TO DO IS FACE THE FOUR WALLS OF HER BHAUTIFUL HOME.

MAKE NSW FRIENDS QUICKLY AND SHE'S TERRIBLY vows. / up HOMES BECOMES

BEGINS TO RESENT THE NEW _JOb, AND HER USDAND FOR ALwa

ee

NO LONGER IS SHE THE CENTER OF HIS LIFE AND 30 SHE BMG

SHE DCESN'T TELL ANYBODY AsOUT

WOULD HAD HS Dit D if

SUPPOSED TO BE A BETTER WAY OF LIVING.

SHE IS ISLATED, LONELY AND DEPRESSED AND SHs J

— asi —_——— ————$—

ALL KINUS OF ACHE

——

s//rowsax SHE SSS A DOCTOR AND Fil

, THEIR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
Fe FER IN CHICAGO WITH A SALARY

THEY MOVE TO A SUBURB OF THE

PERFECT fom MR. A DOSSN'T COME

5S KEEPS HIM IN TOWN FOR SUPPER
a

GONS FOUR DAYS ZA WEEK, AND
SHS NEVER DID
A patson f/ SHE
YS PUTTING HIS WORK FIRST.
INS 10 GRIVE, MUCH AS SHE

THIS BECAUSE HER NEW LIFE IS

nr

t “7 "I * s r star)
S BETTER FOR A TIME.

BUI WHEN

7.
THS SYMPTOMS RECURR SHE IS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL FQ
IS DISCOVERED. / BUT SHE IS STILL SICK, JUST AS SICK ag
AN

ULCER.

TO PUT A HRPPY ENDING ON THE STORY LET'S SAY THA

a
HER TOGSTHIR THEY TALK THIS THING OUT.

R A COMPLET“ CHSCKUP.

NOTHING

A PERSON WITH A BORKEN LEG

iT THE CHAPLAIN BEGINS SEEING

TO READJUST TO HER NeW LIFE

[a IS HELPED

ine y

AND THEY

LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

THS POINT IS THAT PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS ARE A PART G

’ GRIEF. BUT IF ALLOWED TO

PERSIST, THE GRIEF PROCESS WILL NEVER COMPLETE ITSELF

THE ILLNESS CRSATED.

THE FIFTH STAGE IS WHEN WE FIND OURSELVES CONST
—_——————

AND THE PeRSON MAY WELL DIE OF
———e

ANTLY PREOCCUPIED WITH THE LOSS.

NOW WE GET WORRIED. WE DON'T HEAQg QUESTIONS THAT ARE

CLEARLY, THE LOSS IS ALL WE CAN THINK ABOUT. THIS TOO
ES

IS NORMAL AND TO 1 LPHOTEU

Wi lob

BCOMI PANLCAY ANU THINK WE ARH ABNORMAL T
—_—_—_—_—_—

INTO DISPAIR.

THE SIXTH STAGE OF GRIEF IS A SENSE OF GUILT ABO

ONE THROUGH DEATH ALL OF US N-ED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT

DIDN'T DO FOR THIS PERSON WHILE HE WAS ALIVE, OR PERHA

——__

Life herlty

OONTRITE CONFESSION IS A PART OF OUR WORSHIP, WE FEEL 7

1AT WE ARE THROWN DEEPER

1 THE LOSS. IF We LOSE A LOVED
—=—

$OME OF THe THINGS WE

j

fS THS THINGS WE DID DO.
—————

HE NERD TO CONFESS AND WE DO.

IN GRIEF WE CANNOT SIMPLY PUSH GUILT OUT OF THE ronal fi TUO,MUST Bi SALT WITH *

d

HOSTILITY AND RESENT COME NEXT IN THE GRIEF PROC

NOW WE ARE ABLE TO ’ THE &

WE ARE GRADUALLY MOVING O

ITO
—

YRITICAL OF ANYONE AND EVERYONE !

et

SUQDENLY BECOME C

—————

T THE DOC TC OR BECAUSE Hi OPSHATSU, OR WE'RE HOTILE TO

oi
ak b

.
pie

OS) TO THE LOSS.

THIS 1S A GOOD SIGN FOR
—— ee

S|WH HAVE BES HOLUING BACK.

[ON INTO THE LIGHT. WE

HOUSTLLE

—

[HS DOCTOR BECAUSE HE DIDN'T

BER whO sc. / te WE ARE

OPERA rf a ) NQO_MA'

COURAGED TO EXPRESS OUR DEEPEST FEELINGS
———

ENC

a

WE MAY sap it DID GOD WO THIS TU san

vOgS NOTHING." rd

3 ox oop SITS IN HIS HEAVEN AND

pected Naeem

THE EIGHTH STAGE 1S WMUARILI TY TO RETURN TO USUAL

HARD TO TAKE UP OUR DAILY ROUTINE AGALN BUT SOMEHOW 11

———

HOLDS US BACK. THERE ARE MANY REASON FOR THIS, BUT vORIMOST AMONG TH 15

——Sse

THE FACT THAT OUR AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE MAKES IT SO DIE

FICULT RAR U TO CONTINUE

OUR GRIEF IN FRONT OF omumms)uiat wi HAVE TO CARRY OUN

WEAR ARM BANJS AND WOMMY BIACK VEILS 50 sVERYBOU

GRIEF ALON

ef iN USED TO

Y WAS REMINDED DAILY OF THEIR

BLACK

OUT OF THE PLACE IN GI VILIZED SOCIETY. WE FROWN ON GR

IMPRESSION THAT GRIEF 1S

TEVING AND CERTALNLY NOT

Ge

PUBLICLY. JAND SO WE OFFER OUR SYMPATHY TO OUR GRIEVIN

WE SEND FLOWERS, AND FROM THERE ON WE SAY

——

THEM THE SILENT TREATMENT. ABOUT THE OF ATH

FRIENUS ONCE AND FOR ALL,

THIS CONSPIRACY OF SILINCE IS PERHAPS THE MOST DAMAGING OUTGROWTH OF OUR

WE MAKE A POLNT

CULTURE IN THE D2ATH*GRIEF SITUAT ON.

® THE DECEASED MAN IN THE PRESEVCE OF HIS wlDOW. WE
THE CONVERSATION TO A MORE "PLEASANT" TOPIC. AND ALL

GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO CHANNEL

ALONG SHE IS CRYING OUT
———

SOMEONE, ANYONE, TO HaLP HER BEAR HER BURDHI, TO 5
—

—————<—<———_———
YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP HER WITH HER LOSS,
———
AT THIS POINT THE CHURCH HAS A RESPONSLELLITY™" T
pBretchicenr nec

SHOULD WE NOT RATHER TRY TO HELP, /TO TALK Al
ait: ?
el

BURDENS."

A HELPING HAND,-INSTEAD OF JOINING THE CONSPIRACY OF 3
—

ee

PLEASANT TOPICS.

—

T STAGE OF GRIEF 15 READJUSTMENT TO ReALI

pa Lis HER GRIEF _/ rim ,15
pba Xt

(EMBER, THAT YOU CARE, THAT
—
WREFORE BEAR YE ONE ANOTHER'S

LOUT THE oacausso/ TO LEND
LLENCE IN rAVOR OF MORE

ri

"

Y. Wis =o BEOOME OUR

———————

i} GO THAD UGH THIS GoLEF GAPER
be
DOOD Tf Tt TrLt > AT . TUT we rT T . ‘iT = TIT 1 1
PSBOPLE FROM THEN ON. THINGS WLLL NEVER BE QULTS THE S

} AMS

——_

[ENCE WE ARE DIFF SiENT
—_————

LO.

Wis GO THROUGH LT BELIEVING iOOGNTLIALLY THROUGHOUT ‘THA ( QD 1S WiTH Udy DISPI TE
—— ———__.

JHE PREVALENCE OF DISTURBING DO [S, WH QOME OUT WITH) A DIBFERENT WALLITY OF ALTH

——_

Pray WG PAL i TL is (Mi AN OLN ily, VU LNUUI Oo GU Uintah, ANU Wo ally Dari
————— — ——
Abuse LU Obl VU Nolo oUn Lina A 1H BAPE RIENCHS SIMILAR] TO THE ONE THROUGH WOLLA we

_ The Sa stage sectors only atter allak tle sthers —

HAVE JUST PASSED. maay frye s¥ep ar eae sfag A bys geal aa nav ar

Shock, bao, iMlacss, fei guilt - ager ae ¥ sossoal

ins IW TAL iP MULLIN VP ral aly iF ys Pee 28 OS Ue 1s ALi cu) ID j COMPLis TD
—- oe

iy a? ws LU i Ly san bA THOUGH J wALA THROUGH TH VAL. OF THe SoABOW OF

EAT 5 L EY :e) ai WL Lo J. ART 4 Lf 4 i
Ti »HURCH IAS A HESPONSL I itTY TO LOOK AT iRLEF UJ AG iT Val E. TO INCLUDE IT
——— ——_s
oo a ae

se SG

LT “ITI LT 1 ’ 1? 7 t! 7 DTT hd ;? 7 a y , - }

Me gE aU ull [ L J wT 2 ALIN iD Lidl ah a LE eh LD ES eS 40 IV AAD IRLEVING

9 t : r rn rr 1 ’ Pp ;

way i Pe pea SLLEN C Wik PUD LT TL LAU NS PLT dul Di tbo UF UJiboPALH.
\ Tt ih "i Ty 1, > CARRY hy +

ANU iA Ail aie IU OMI unos, +i Mur VARI ti, 10 iil Ao

1 } | 1
4 a a 4 4 W/ boda 4 Lif id @

WIN THE SHADOW O JSATH—-—THOU ART WITH ME sSTHY R@ AND STAFF CQGMPORT Me J AND