She VYocusian of farenthood

Fay ll, 7%

about i.

ia

ALGHe@E 08 ok

bivtuie: os cutee sade ds foe test oe,

im
ze

to ditic: sc. ue

additio:, § osc wivarg io thet whet

Gay GOP.

er Pes gp am Sf gegen chy pea oer eye yt

LMU A Ad. Bib tu. Vr ame ein Lwia

WAV dhe Daal Shy

;
i

oe tr oe Pet

wins
Parenthood = being a motarey, or a father, ie 4 vocation, and it focurser
on the related institutions of the familoy and the home. In this context, two

general observations are in order.

riret, the Home ~ ag an institution, isn't what it used to be. a jor

factorr of life in the 2Oth century are responpible — mobility - and the

.

growth and sophistication of public inetitutione. While we were in Parhville
several weeks aco we toured the Hermitage — indrew Jackson's hmmertead. Jackson
bought the property ag a young man, built the buildings and farmed the fibldre,

It wat hie home for the entireiu of hie life. Many of his relatives and denrert
friends lived there with him. Children were born, educated, reared, married

number of people ~ buried in the g¢found of what was truly a home. The Hermi tare

the Home or Homestead.
) ie gone now — and the type of culture in which it flourished idithe

probably never rer

at itself. ‘Today mobility im the word. e've been in
Lafayette for 2) years, and already we've the only original repidents left on
our block. his doesn't need documented - partichlarly in this congregation -
where every springtime bringer the logs of many people te have learned to

know and love. Mobility, simply etated, has fundamentally altered the ine titution
of the home,

In addition the traditional fimetions of the home are now done by very
sophisticated public institwtions. The school, the church, and the scout troop -
together do tor a child what were once the cohesive taske of the home. In fact
our liver get so deeply involved with these other institutions that the hosie
becomes little more than a sleeping place for severnl individuale. “ne observer

notes that, ‘! home ceases to be a home when moet of the members are about to

leave it." (1. Trueblood, Your Other Vocation, p. 87) ‘And that statement

defines most of the houeeholde 1 know, including my am.

iy liret concern, therefore, is that we make a concertdd effort to
re-esteblicnh our priorities. Our families are our first and most important
responsibility. 4nd yet, to live out of that conviction is no eary thing to
do. We live in a culture that operates with ea difrerent set of asrumptione.

All of us imiow someone who works terribly hard at this job+ under the premise

that this is the way to provide for a family — and the
ee P

families become the victimes rather than the benefactors.

neveral year ago, obtune Megazine revealed in an article the fact

several large corporations in this country do not give major responsibklity

to happily married men for the sipple reagon taat this kind of man will insict

on reserving both time and ener: for a commi tment ot stands ahead of the

company. .hal's the King of cuiture in which we live + a culture that

gross irresponsibility in our primary tack, under the euise of success and

BeCcuri sy.

80 much ac those we have brought into the world - that if we fail here nothing

= cal

the same again. THechnology has changed the rules of the game. Takkr which once
took ali day, every day, are now done in minuter by pushin er a button or plugging

lence. Thus, the home

“a

to feelings of ineecurity sbout her role ag the pusher of many buttons.
growing problem today is the young college educated wife, Fluent in

french, conversant in Cninese uietory and baroque music, whose time is consumed

in changing diapere. ur culture has held out before her the image of

‘a

emancipated womanhood and she has been led to believe that her contribution

to society must be made in some profession. ilton GYrueblood put it this way:

mal we
"Tt is assumed that a person needs rigorous preparation in order to be a
successiul architect, but the guidance of human liver is apparently thoupht to
be on a different intellectual level.” (Ibid p. &9)
I had the privikedge last year of addressing a conference of Senior Cirl
scouts wio had spent several dayr disevesing, with experts, every vocation open
to them except the one most of them are going to spend the next twenty or
there is iittle significance in cleaning, cooking and changing diapers. ‘nd
I think it's time for responsible voices to didsent.
than the vocation of homemaking and motherhood. ‘the youns mother in fructrated
supper can vest assured that she's doing something more eipnificant than her husband

2
Lat
]
*
py
a
yy?
=
feast
pe
+
*
Far]
ie
.
i

Boome ef, ine ering ' muet serve ac comforter , counsellor rr irbpiter <— and mos?
men wouldn't chan, jobs wi them for all the money on the

Me point is that mothers asn see thie - and live out of the self estee!
that attaches to their role; or they can choose not to see it, be frustrated

and not bring to their task the kind of sensitive intellieence it needs.
Phytlis icSinley, the poetees laureate of the common housewife hae summarised

it well: “ rom the raw materiale of four walle and a roof, a shelter over ovr

heads, we will have mule a home by force of our own pereonalities. ie

warmed, ciccred ond sustained tne head of that house, turned progeny into a
family. 6 will have learned 2 dozen skills and enjoyed the fruit of those

skills. sor us the baby will have taken the first séep, repeated hie first word

woe
we will have heard the school child call “Mommy As soon ac he pute a foot inmide
the door; not so much to have - reply as to be aesured that he is safe, life ie

ordinary, and that we are there. We will have been raise@ to 2 @iray eminence

as final suthority, diepeneer of ujuelice, necessary Presence. ' husband, no
matter how willingly he giver nimeel? to the role of houreholder or paren t,

never approaches such triumphe. What more can one ask of a proferrion? Cod,

as I said, suet love housewiver. It is time we also learned to love our

selves." ( Sixpence in |

T mur } ™ ane « +3
Now, there are ot

be said, of covrre. | homemaker hne
responsibility to engage herself outside her home. She is free to serve her
community - to pursue her interests. In fact, a very crucial time comer in
every woman's life when the children are fone and 2 terrible freedom sete in.
An amazing amount of emotional probleme and divorces occu t precisely that
phint. So it becomes a matter of responsibidity not to narrow the field go much
that 2 perron chrivels and dies,

out of 2 clearly defined Patriarchal society. In a rence, the pendulum ha:

of reasons, is not the father at all = but the mother. I woul pe that or
?
might understand that together we are parents -— equal ly responsible { the

vocation of homemaking and parenthood.

We are, paycholpiete tell us, the most signigicant individuals in the lives
of our children. hat they become is going to depend, gnan frightenin; degree,
upon our relationship with them. Boy babies begin to learn what it meane to be

men - as soon an they are born: ~ because teste have shown that fatherns

whi

handle tieir infant sons in an entirely different manner than they cuddle

their daughters. We nedd to understand that. we need to know that we are
totally transparent to our children — that what we do, or don't do with them ie
a powerful factor in their developing personalities. ‘4 child's atbituder

about sex are going to reflect the manner in which the subjecttwar handled

at home. [i he is made to feel ashamed of his sexuality - that his body is
something to be hidden and ignored: hif he learns that his questions embarnare his

parents ani are suidiously diverted — he's going to carry into adulthood a

certain attitude about sexuality thet may never be corrected.

if he hears hie father refer to those niggers ar that dirty Jew - he's
learning. if ne hears Ais parents exp esrin hatred for a noi hbor =~ he's

learning. If he ob

in simple, LY ys. If youx child anewere the phone and you
gave your breath when you feel called to deliver a lecture on hones ty.
¢ need to be : inded, i Lily, ‘that oui lationshin wi our

reminded that our parenthood is the most diffbeult o° all voeationn.

And we need to be reminded that our ability to be effective parents
depends in large meagure on our relationship with each other ae hurhondes ane
wives.

ote Poul writing to the Uphesians had some very straightforward words here.

Ang perliaps it is no accident that he remained a bachelor. As I mentioned before

he spoke frem a culture that was clearly patriarchal. “Vivee -— be subject to

your husbands.” That culture is no more. But his understanding of the relation-

ship between men and women in the home was firmly grounded in the realistic

Fanl ‘told it like

e fume condition, “hat is, wt.
“hatte where it bering. Wh

=f-

appraies: oa. the
ceed isa one another.”
Sin, mud they we: talking about

SOG LLone we proherr
bottle of wilbe - or

writerr 3:

conte

ever: - .

maken we a7
bat be mennt :

human eine

in whi.
peur tics: i , te rn
ana sige ce Le a ee ee a ES
nor a 4 an! ‘ « 1 car 3 a) cre a

¥Yocawhin..
Bh Cal ud. eA a . ae elo RO DOL “
Lid Pes ee iv iad Wehbe ‘ »
my he Sy eld Mac yg Raa Pe or CATE h ua
WE Gl i tee oe ude oo lhaeche of deadte saad rrneac.

4
iia

Avity. ive rg the

wiv ives anc hk
ra

fa :

re,
he
+

parenic.

coun tins:

a

us ever ult a
wor Fike

t

t

r

Jeaun Uasies