/

his Lighter Side of the Ministry John M. Buchanan
enior Fellowship P Broad Street Presbyterian Church
ay 18, 1977

Introduction: 7

I'm flattered that you should be interested in hearing more of me.

One of the hazards of the professional ministry is that we all will be
——_ a, ee

drowned j flood of ds. A pr i itivitv at all is
ned in a flood of words preacher with any sensi

humbly and painfully aware that his people listen to him speaking more

—t ———

than they listen to anyone else:| probably more than they listen to

——SE

each other. \r [are some quick mathematieseanddiscovered some suprising

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data\ 1 preach about forty times a year:( each sermon lasts in the vicinity
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of twenty minutes. | That's = minutes a year - or 13% hours . ‘\ We are

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about at the end of our tprd year together:|which means that if you are

a regular attender you have heard 2,400 minutes - or ours.} Now that,
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relatively speaking, is an immense amount of verbieage. | It compar
—— MAM —
favorably with Walter Crankite or Howard cosset. |The recent Ni inter-

views, for instance, began at the Aevel a preaching minis rvachieves

annually - but they were editeds refined and distill “a mere six

time is the quality.

hours or so.
— eee eee

more importan

Serres
commercials. \ You have the advantage of being able to get up and go to the

12
'S monologue bea broken up by

kitchen for a sandwich: \or, if you find him offensive or, at least dull,

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you can simply turn him off - something no worshipper has yet been able

to do with the preacher. \ Rather, the setting for our exchange is quite

formal and rigid:\ you can not move around very much ve have not yet intro-

ed

duced commercial breaks in the middle of a sermon, nor can you get_up and

go to the kitchen for refreshnents: \and unless you are very imaginative

and can devise a new way to count the plaster decorations or the carved

pomegranits in the chancel, you don't really have any alternative in church
ey —

———

but to listen.

And so Ih. flattered that you should voluntarily subject yourselves

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to nore.\ I shall not, however, preach a sermon: Jalthough a preacher has
eye

——=—

trouble not preaching. \ My children will testify to the fact that I can

preach on any subject - at the dinner_table - at the drop of a fork.

I would, on the other hand, like to begin with a text of sorts.

Fe

It is a question that has been posed to each of my children many times.
Pe | Se

It is asked by their friends - when they are talking about what their

fathers do for a living. \ Wy children's companions announce Cy Dad's
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a lawyer, a doctor, a salesman: #my child retort "my Dad's a minister". )

——— SSeS

And inevitably the question comes:("ino - what does he do? \ what is_his

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work? frow does he earn a_living?"| My children - while they know_l'm not
around much, do have difficulty answering that and resort ordinarily to

that great American panacea "whatever it is, he's very busy!" |

What I do_professionally began when I decided, along with my wife,

to go to graduate school and learn how to do it.
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The lighter side of my ministry began at the outset, wnen I decided

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to go learn how to be one.\ And at the risk of boring you to tears I should

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like to tell you a little about it. besides, if you can endore 40% hours

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in the pews, surely you can make it through another few minutes.

se We Taugh a lot when we look pack] Me drove to Chicago from Altoda4<

Pennsylvania in September of 1959 - with all our wordly possessions crammed

Gan.

into two cars. [sue was very pregnant at the time. | We arrived at Lake Shore
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Drive precisely at 5:00 p-m. on the day the White Sox won their first and

last, A. L. Pennant in many decades.\The experience was traumatic enough
ea =a aes =

to cast grave doubt.on the future. \ We may not have been the Pilgrims at

Plymouth Rocl- but we were at least as frightened as they. \ found myself

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confronting a big city - the University of Chicago ~ and parenthood -
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totally unprepared for any of them. \srthoust I came to love them all.

We were assigned to an apartment - which certainly stretches the
ial

language to the breaking point. \Actual ly it was the living room and

dining room of what was once a lovely residence in Hyde Park. \Six other
= Cn eel ao ~~ Were

couples shared the house:\because we were about to become parents we get Owed d

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2 roons.\ The choicest apartment was the kitchens\ it had a stove and sink.

ad eed oo

Our kitchen was a corner - with an ancient, wheezing refrigerator and
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hot plate. \ Water had to be carried from the bath tub. | In order ta pay

ene

for this extravagance I labored as a janitor in an office building every
ECCLES weer EAT

night:| and Sue worked ag_asecretary up to the day Diane was born.

It was fun but we didn't know jt at the time. |Academically, I
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found myself in a very rarified atmosphere. | Every other student, it

seemed, was there to earn a Ph. BD. in Sem@tic languages or the Origins of
Re,

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Existentialism from Augustine to Heg@}. Everyone knew Paul Tillich and

Reinbold \iekbo personally - and shortly after a perfuggtoryigtroduction

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would announce grandly, j"I'm Tillichian, what are you., | I always wanted
a — —— _——

to answer that by sayingf"I rather like the Pittsburgh Pirates myself."
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In any event it didn't take me long to Tearn the required German phrases
nl

which mark one as a theologian - Weffenschaung - Helisgeschicte - Sitz ips
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Leben - I found myself in an institution that wanted_me to think, and
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seemed blithty unaware of the fact that my major question_was - How do you

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preach a sermon? | we never, by the Way » got around to that at Chicago -

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how to do it - Hermaneutics. Howwlebies —hanwt m Your her mane

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mce TT learned
although they taught me the fancy word to describe it chee betel Siay ?

Diane arrivedsft did welt:\sue mothered: \during the summer I worked

two jobs: |an1 day and every night. \ But we became restless - mostly with

the kind of cammunal living which occurs in graduate student apartment
buildings. | We had been moved into a new one \the halls were full of peop ple -
tubes doy Oe

communicating ~ practicing, new counsel ing skills on one another.j It was
| A ey aes van Wh

at the very beginning of the human potential movement - and it seemet to
bat

me that every casual conversation had to become something called a "signi-
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ficant encounter.”
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The second stage of my preparation for ministry began on a hot

4 day when I noticed on the bulletin board a slip of paper which aA

read ~ - » wanted - Student Pastor: | $50 per week and parsonage: Dyer, _indiana.

==,

We drove the thirty miles South that might. | Two weeks Tater, having
— omens

distilled my firs teliiiiemitesbeoLady into a twenty minute sermon~ which

balm
included an wabigen uf Christian thought from the first _to the twentieth

century, the history of Europe, and sound resolutionsfor every current
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political and economic problem, J got the job and we moved in.

In anticipation of our new affluence we opened a charge account and
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purchased a studio couch, chair table and Yan [and from the S@nm7 bought

a used bed, dresser and desk. \ Our only other item of furnishing was Sue's
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parents’ first television set:|3 feet high, two wide, 250 lbs. with an 8 jn.
screed. \ We sat in the living room of that tiny house in Dyer and Taughed
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at the richness of it all.

But the greatest crisis of my life was just three days away - Sunday.
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I had to come up with another sermon - and lead worship. {IF there were

churches cut there expecting men to do these things, the faculty at the

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Divinity School of the University of Chicago had not discovered that fact

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yet. \: was totally unprepared.\. But I did it - with infinite love and
Bd ‘te ‘ime,

support from Sue - and from that small Communion of Saints and Menters.
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I did it for six years.

-5-

In fact, as I lock back, it was eagjer. then.\ After a week in class
I woutd close the dogr to the room which contained desk, tyogwriter and

mimeograph, on Friday night and emerge early Saturday morning with a sermon.

During the day Sue would type it - and prepare the bulletins, the falding
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of which constituted our regular Saturday night entertainment.
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In Dyer, 3 weeks after I arrived, I conducted a funeral, never before
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in my life having attended one-\ My weekling offerings were sophomoric, 711 ™
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imformed, ill=prepared and sometimes arrogant-\I am embarrassed even to

tien call

think about them. \But they were received with kindness and forgiveness

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and love ~ which is one of the clearest miracles of grace I know of.

\ CAE:
It was our only experience with _a.manse, | The dear people were

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generous, but broke. \ They owned the house because their former treasurer,
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whe used to own it, had skipped town with $5,000 they had saved.\ The

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electric water pump broke down daity:\the water softener through which
eCce enmeesememminel

Coused j
eased liquid iron ore, leaked constantly, the o77 furnace leaked - until

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even our clothes smelled Tike a Calumet retinery.\ In the winter the
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entire backyard flooded - whichwas fun for ice skating, but the toilets

7 —————

wouldn't flush.

Susan was born on the night of July 15, 1961, two weeks early,

making her approach while I was in Cémpstep Park sical arioa Yankees
beat the White Sox, 1 -0, on a Whitey Ford shut out and a Mantle Home Run.
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A neighbor took Sue to the hospital and thew,,miraculously, caught me at
WR aetece gree Ra

Stoney Island and 85th, on my way home - and in time to catch Sue on her

ba] ae on atee)

way to the delivery room.

Nomar: | That little church endured in spite of me - and grew
ar,

and became a Presbyterian New Church Development - and built a lovely new
oes

af«

building - and is now a thriving congregation. | we remained there for six
years, - thréf after my ordination and I learned most of what_I know about
Bana ela aay

my profession from them.
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Two things mainly -
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1. Christian people are patient, gentle: tolerant and essentially
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want to care for one another if the man they pay to be theip minister wi
let them.
2. The Secretary of State, Attorney Gengra| and Supreme Court

Justices are not ordinarily in the congregation on Sunday Morning, and

sermons pointed to them, regardless of their eruditign, will rarely find

their target.

Enough of tnat: |tnis is beginning to feel like a coerced Viewing

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of the family abun. \ what grew in me through that experience was a deep
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love of the Church and sense that in this, as in any human endeavor,
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there is plenty to laugh at and enjoy. \1 learned, I think, the grace of
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humor and the fact that to take oneself too seriously, all the time, is

perhaps the deadliest sin of all. \ God, I am thoroughly convinced, has a

sense of humor - and when he isn't weeping over us, is chuckling at our
bes sree sini

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pomposity. \i take altogether seriously the Westminster D¢vines suggesion

that our chief end is to glorify €@@k and enjoy him forever. dover

One of the burdens of the ministry is the image which it bears.
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I find it also the source of humor and some rich vignettes which are
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precious to me I've already mentioged the fact that children - and
adults - think of the minister in terms_of Sunday only.

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Another aspect of the public image is the traditional, pious, grim
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and straight countenance peering from portraits of stern puritan preachers.

Several weeks ago, in this Sanctuary, a mother brought her sma?

child toworship - - - J Ae hte bind
@s ZL steyped me fpit , OF
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2 Is that Jesus?

Is that God? no

Where is God? Shhhhh - he isn’t here this morning.

Ministers are supposedio be pure, unstained by the world: \antouched by

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the commoness of life.}Now, I've played on athletic teams, lived in a
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Fraternity House, worked for the Altoona Sewer Depart,ent, on the Assembly
etre 2
tine of a Ford automobile stamping Plant, and on a Road Construction gang.

There is no profanity in the English language I have not_heard used as
pence

comfortably and naturally as polite digmer table tatk. | Yet, When I, or
eens a =—_— —_——

any minister, walks into a barbership, that Tast bastion of male chauvinism,
a\ *

—
the barber, inevitably, says - loudly - Hello Reverend! fIt's an announce-
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ment, actually:{"clean it up, felias, the Holy Man is here." }In spite of

— Leena sal
th t i ici
e fact that until you've worked for_a municipal sewer depaytgent you
haven't even heard profanity.
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Qider images which have their source in Puritanism, I suppose,

ome 1 LO

continue to surface.\ years ago it was risky business for a clergyman
Pd er, initiate)

to wear bermuda shorts. Not long ago, Sue and I were at a wedding re-

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cept ion.\ ve decided to dance - the way we learned in the 50's. [te bunip tat

into a sister of the bride;s mother, who having had a bit too much to drink,
=—oee of, 0

yelled in horror. "hy God, it's the minister!" | — Benefit Pee

Si —— ay
Charles Merri1] Smith wrote a little book about it - How to Become a
[i

}
Bishop without Being Religious. |x is a delightful parody with enough truth

in it to be devastating.

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Image ~ suggested Smith, is everything. \You want to project - what

7
people expect of their minister, and it is easy to do once one begins the
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the project.
Attire - for instance - dark suits, cleverly made to look slightly
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out of style, available at church supply houses: | who goes for_counsel ing

to a man in a sport coat? )
——... Automobile - it should say( "this is a thrifty, sober man who makes
no rash decisions, whose money is not at the mercy of emotions, whose
——— — Wal

true values are spiritual who is nod Petuced by. the trifling, the flashy
and the frivitoust

a => The Inhibited Life - no alcohol or eanoscas | in presence of off

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color story, practice an embarassed frown

-no vigorous pleasure - croquet is best

Na)
“———~ Art and Literature for the Mange - keep chaste, innocuous books + eg
‘ae fae” ®
in sight; The Robe - Readers Digest bap ware

Salman's Head of Christ or peVince's Last Supper

Stained Glass Voice

—_ Choosing the Clerical Wife - she must not be stylish, beautiful,

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if she is, it must be toned down

May I hasten to add - that this parody does not apply here - or

—S——,

to the Churches I have served -
But the image surfaces - mostly outside the church - and it is one
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in which I continue to see humor.

I know of no profession more interesting and vers@tile and stimu-

lating a the ministry. \ Hore often than not I go home at night
— L eniiintend Ona ipanne ee mn nioe al

aad

with adrenalin still flowing and slightly amazed at what my job has

. ‘ busi ~ that's a myth.
allowed me to do \ We re not busier than others at's y

But we are diverse - today, for instance:
—

at 7:30 a teacher

9:00 Staff meeting - people skills

10:30 Administration - Stewardship ‘78 ~ dest telah

12:00 Lunch ~ Public Speaking

1:30 Hospital catls

3:30 Meeting about cur Recording Process
4:30 Pre~marital counsel ing

6:00 Littte League

8:15 TV Taping of Grief

I do not find that boring. I love it - and I find in it, among
everything else, a great deal that is good and joyful and stimu-

lating and fun.