STEPPING BACK FROM LIFE

March 1, 1987, 11:00 a.m. Worship Service
John M. Buchanan
Fourth Presbyterian Church,. Chicago

Scripture
Exodus 24:12-18
Matthew 4:1-11

"Then Jesus was led up by the spirit inte the wilderness...."
Matthew 4:1 (RSV)

My proposal this morning is. that we accept an invitation. to step back
from life. J propose that-we allow God's spirit to lead us to a‘place of
quiet and solitude, where-we can get some important work done. :

My sense of it is that it is neither easy nor convenient for us: to
step back from Life. My. sense is that we work.-hard at the opposite.of the
invitation...that we are “into" life, noisily, busily...that in all of
Christendom, this congregation, this morning §- is one of the Teast likely
to take comfortably to contemplation, meditation, reflection.

I propose that we get into the topic by listening to two statements
from the text, the story of Jests' temptations in: the wilderness...one at
the beginning: the other at the end. We are so busy ordinarily trying to
understand what those temptations are about that we miss what may be the
most important part of the story, and the part.= this morning - I am
proposing contains God's word. to us.

. The first statement is - "Then Jesus was. led up by the Spirit. into
the wilderness to be tempted...“

The second is, at the end... "Then the devil jeft him, and behold,
angels came and ministered to him."

Let me tell you first about how this ‘story has been expressed ina
peculiar but fascinating chapter of history...One time, very. long-ago, a
young man heard this story, and others like it and did a very strange
thing.. He went into the wilderness and stayed there for twenty years. His
name was Anthony, St. Anthony; he lived in Egypt in the Third Century and
he is the founder of that. fascinating Christian phenomenon called
Monasticism. At the age of 35 Anthony crossed the Nile, went into the
desert where he lived in an abandoned fort: Bread was brought to him twice
a year. He emerged 20 years later, "perfect. invevery way," it was said,
fit, alert and utterly close to God. By the time of his death Anthony had
thousands of followers. Some of these early monks lived as hermits,
absolutely alone. Others lived in communities called monasteries. | They

lived simply, but strenuously. They prayed and meditated constantly. on
Church historians: know .these. early monastics by the affectionate title

"Desert Fathers"... there were women too, of course. The passing of time

has rendered them obscure. Western civilization does worse by them. They

seem to us slightly bizarre, eccentric, perhaps even mad.

And yet, when being a Christian has become so conventional, these
eccentrics have a-certain. appeal. And in .a society which has abandoned
any sense of the holy, where it is only rumored that God is alive and well,
these people who lived life wholly for God have a word which something in
us wants to hear.. Perhaps these peculiar people knew something about God
and about authentic human life which we have quite forgotten.

St. Matthew suggests. that one time the Spirit led Jesus into the
wilderness. That..story about Jesus spending 49 days in the wilderness at
the beginning of his ministry is ordinarily associated with the beginning
of the Lenten season. The 40 days of Lent relate to those 40 days in the
wilderness. And the ideas of sacrifice, self denial and repentance which
have characterized the observance of Lent are related to that. time and that
experience of our. Lord's.

foam intrigued by the suggestion that the Spirit led Jesus there:
that God set. Jesus up for the experience.

‘The wilderness into which Jesus was led - and St. Anthony followed
250. years later - was a-lonely, lifeless, arid desert: rocky, barren,
windy... Israel. wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years on the way
to becoming a nation. The wilderness has a certain creative potential,
that is to say. But on the way, it is also a place of struggle,
temptation, mental,’ physical and spiritual refining.

Jesus had to decide how to live in light of his sense of God's
purposes for his life. What happened to him in that 40 days in the
wilderness was a process of refining. Presented with three alternative
styles of being God's man, he pondered each and rejected each. ~ Those three
alternatives weren't all bad, by the way...In the story Satan is th
protagonist and he:is rather appealing, worldly-wise actually. His first
proposal is that Jesus become relevant: "forget about those dusty prayer
shawls and obscure rituals! | Turn these rocks into bread!" The second
suggestion is to do the PR first... "Get. their attention by jumping off
the temple. People don't listen te a voice crying in the wilderness. You
need a-little ink, a little 'sex appeai', the ad people call it." The
third proposal is about power, clout. “What better way to bring in the
-Kingdom.than to accumulate: political. influence?"

Jesus rejected each of.those suggestions, not because they were evil
or. sinful in and of ‘themselves. My sense of the story is that his
selfhood, his soul was at stake. What is happening in the wilderness is a
man-struggling with.demons: for. his own integrity. He must be. God's man on
God's terms. Nothing must interfere with that.

What interests me. primarily about the story this morning, however, is
.. that Jesus went into that wilderness in the first place. What I'd like
very much for us to. ponder is that the solitude of the wilderness was a

necessary experience for his own spiritual development. J am intrigued
with St. Matthew's quiet reminder that the Spirit. led-him ‘there, that. the
struggle which cotild only: happen there’ was:part of. God's plan (and that at
the end of it, Angels came-and ministered to him). I. am intrigued with the
possibility that ‘those peculiar desert monks and hermits who? lived. out
their: lives in solitude and silence understood Something about this.
incident:..and about life which we have quite forgotten.

The simple fact of the matter is that-our life style is. noisy and
busy and fast. Visitors to our culture immediately see that we are in a
hurry always; that we make the automatic assumption that empty time is
wasted time, that each new day is to be attacked, charged, that life is a
race - a sprint, or-a battle to be fought. Several brokerages and banks
use this idea ‘to promote ‘their business: <In- television commercials: they
tell “us: that. their: peaple- can't sleep at night, are up. before dawn, can't.
even finish lunch without tushing to a _ telephone.

These commercials make the: pastor; the physician’ the psychologist
shudder. What they really are promoting are stress and: indigestion,
ulcers, heart attacks, depression, broken. marriages and chemical addiction.

“What they suggest is that compulsive -busyness will produce profitability

which will produce happiness which ‘is a synonym for salvation and what this
text suggests is that to buy that is to sel} your own soul.

“We could ‘spend our. time thinking about how bankrupt that is. But you.
know. that already. “My guess. is that ‘part of ‘the reason you are here and
not. somewhere else this morning is that you already know the theological
deficiencies of the “fast” track." I believe it is a matter of identity -
soul, if you will. Just as Jesus had to be: led into the wilderness - to
find: his own soul, so do we. The Spirit: led him into the wilderness to do
it. ~But we're too busy. Instead, we let. the culture do the defining for -us
(tell us who we are = our soul). The culture defines us, simple and
straight; in terms of function. . "Who are you": here means “what do you do

“answer the question literally. You're at a party. ahd someane you have | just

met says: ° "What: do you do?" And you answer: "Oh, I -breathe;.- eat, sleep,
love'a lot. Sometimes I run. Occasionally 1 walk. I talk and think and
read most days." oa : :

What we do for a-living is important and interesting.© What is
wrong, however,. is. the cultural truism that who you are is limited by what
you do. What is tragic is the notion that’ your value as a person is not
indigenous to you, but has to be earned, posited; toted up every single
day... What is detionis is-that you must. hammer ‘out. your worth as -a: human
being every morning of ‘your life... What. is deadly is the logical ‘conclusion
that if you're not making it: (if you're not living up to your own
production guotas in life, all you: need to do to feel better about’ yourself
ig tighten up a bit, dig in deeper, put your shoulder to the wheel a little
more forcefully, get up earlier, work later. ~"When the going gets tough,
the tough get going," and all that. °

_ It doesn't work. It doesn't work because itis idolatry which always
means a selling of your soul. Frantic,. compulsive behavior apparently. only—
produces frustration and weariness and then anger: anger at the unfairness
of it all, deep rage which sometimes lashes out. at spouse, lover, children,

colleagues.: God: even. John Ciardi wrote somewhere. that "an ulcer is a
- poem that never got- written-and a. heart attack sometimes-a song which was
» never, sung." ..And perhaps dying marriages are sometimes no.more complicated
-than “1 love you" not .said,..or love. not made, and-.perhaps empty lives are
sometimes. no-more complicated than. laughter: not. laughed and. prayers not
prayed because of all: things, we didn't have time: life was too noisy and
Full.

Compulsive. basyness. keeps us. out of. -the wilderness. So does our fear

‘of aloneness and. silence. ~The wilderness is where you are’-alone with
yourself. Our life is open, public, together... Under the guise of “sharing

~ feelings". it sometimes. seems that. privacy is. gone... There is-no arena of

oo diffe. safe. froam=the probing inquiries ofthe TV talk: show. host.- In- church
even. we assume that every religious experience, every joy,-sorrow, doubt
and belief must. be shared to be authenticated:..1-was interested to learn
that-some of those: desert hermits avoided talking about faith: because they

thought. it released the..religious emotion ‘they. needed -— a-littie like
keeping: the window. closed.to. keep the. heat. in.

Dutch theologian Henri Nouwen who. writes. about spirituality calls us
the “chatty society." I love a whimsical observation Pascal once. made.
Said he, “all the evils of life have fallen upon us because man will not
sit alone quietly ina room." {Leslie Weatherhead,. The Significance of
Silence, ch...1]..-1-also love Henry David: Thoreau's comment about. the huge
Boston celebration at.the completion of the telephone lines from Maine to
- Texas... .Thoreau said, "The. question is, do-the people of -Maine. have

- anything to. say to the people of Texas?" [Rollo May,.. My: Search for

ee It. is more. than discomfort, I think. -I.believe that we are afraid of

_/ silence. The. early settlers on the frontier used.to beat pots and pans at
night. to scare away the. beasts, real or imagined, that inhabited the primal
wilderness... So do-.we... We avoid the silence and aloneness of solitude. fe
don't step back from life because we're uncomfortable, afraid. even.

: My proposal this morning is that we need to go-into the wilderness.
My: proposal is that:we need to allow the Spirit of God to lead us into
-silence:and.-solitude.

My proposal. - is based. both.on spiritual. and practical considerations.
What we encounter in, silence is ourselves..Henri Nouwen writes:

"in solitude i-get-rid of my scaffoldings: no
friends to. talk to; no. telephone calis to make,
no. meetings to.attend, no music to entertain -me,

-.no books to distract me,.-just. me - naked, vulnerable,
weak, broken; sinful.- everything in me wants to run
to my friends, my work, and my distractions so. that
I can forget my nothingness.". {Henri Nouwen,
Solitude. and. the Contemporary Ministry in

Sojourners}

I have an idea that we meet our own mortality in silence and: that we
would- rather not. do that. I-have an idea that-at the heart of it.ali,. our
frantic busyness and incessant noise and persistent openness - are simply
our way of denying our mortality. Comedian Richard Pryor was nearly killed
when his "free-basing” apparatus blew up. He-ran- and ran, all his: clothes
on fire, because, he said, “I knew that as long as.I was running Il was
still alive and I thought if TI stopped 7 will die"

We do that, too... keep running. But what you can ‘run away from is
your own soul. your own truest, deepest self.

There are practical considerations. The wilderness is a creative
place. I think we have experienced, perhaps by accident, the creativity of
solitude... We have had the experience of working at a problem, struggling
at ourdesk, and when we pull back, withdraw from the intensity of the
struggle, of stumbling into the solution, almost as if by magic. Creative
energy is released when we step back... Working on the ‘problem produces
enough stress to inhibit the very creativity the problem requires. Ali
those people jovging in. Lincoin Park are not only helping their cardioa+
vascular systems, they are.also nurturing their’ spirits - and, along the
way; doing a fair amount. of creative problem-solving. Icmiss mowing the
lawn because. J: always outlined sermons pushing the mower: Albert: Einstein

got his ‘best ideas while: shaving.

We know, or should know, the creative. potential of silence. anid
solitude in our relationships. — Good relationships include space and. time
for aloneness, separation, privacy, silence. Good relationships. provide
for each to be alone.

“Sometimes love means keeping the silence. Sometimes speaking makes
trivial what needs. to be profound. -A™ good friend ‘of mine is. critical of
ministers who "try to make sense of something” ‘that is inherently: mystical,
try to-say what they do not.-know." -If you shave - ever: tried to: say ‘something
to someone whose dear love has just died,: you “know what. that means: Or if
you have tried to share ‘someone's ecstacy -. you know. how inadequate words
are. You know ~ if you have had wisdom sand courage to be-silent that there
isa ministry of presence “more eloquent. and more helpful than speaking.

; The Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness. $6, “1 believe, ‘for the
purpose of helping us with our own spiritual: growth, God leads us into
seasons of silence. es

We need silence in order to hear. The inadequacy of televised
religion is, finally, that there is no silence: ©-No’ space. <I learned about
that from an artist “friend of. mine. . I had seen ap exhibit of Henry Moore
sculpture. Moore, you know, was famous. for those abstract, reclining
figures: "Tell me about. them.,.help.mé understand" “I. asked my artist
friend who painted and sculpted. “Pay attention to the spaces" he. said.
One. way. to look at sculpture, particularly Moore's, is to see the spaces
first, to think in terms of the artist working first: of al] with the: empty
places. And then I remembered that in great :music the rests are -
important.:.that Sir Georg Solti devotes as mutch; if°not more, of “his
genius to spaces in. the music as he does ta the sounds.

“we need silence. in order to hear. God, after all, someone said
recently, isn't talking all the time. In order to hear the Word we have to
live a while in the silence... It is there. that we recover something most of
us are in danger. of losing, namely our ‘own soul. It is there that we
rediscover a dimension of our selves. that many of us don't even know
exists: a spirituality, a depth, a profundity that is a beautiful part of
~who-we are and who we can be. ; -

in the silence. we can pray —- but. inca .new way: not the discursive

ce Presbyterian lectures. we ordinarily deliver. to God, telling God about our

-theological insights, our. social concerns and political agendas, but the
honest. praying of the soul... “God help ‘me! Jesus. save me! Lord, be with

— The. promise is: “that the Angels come. After the wilderness struggle:
“after the time of temptation and silent decision making, the angels came
and ministered to-him, St. Matthew reports. That's the promise — the
angels... The messengers.. ‘The bearers of. the Good: News.

: And they do.. sometimes mystically, when we know..in the silence, the
_ indescribable presence of God, ~

Sometimes the angels minister to us when. we allow ourselves to be led
- into some wilderness, some quiet time and space: . on the beach at sunrise,
or perhaps here in the sanctuary or late at night listening once more to
the mysterious truth of:a Mozart. Requiem or in the middle of the afternoon
when you allow yourself to-be led into the Museum and stand before the
unearthly beauty of: great art. And sometimes the angels come and they are
~ Simply. the people.we-know, who- come into -our solitude. with: love. and
affirmation and hope, those dearest.ones-who respect our solitude but will
be with us when our. needs. are most urgent: who remind us that we matter,
“and are cared for and needed and loved, and whose very presence becomes for
us the. bearer of..that other, greater mystery, that God cares-and loves us
and will be with us. forever. That's what an angel is - a messenger, a
‘bearer: of the Good- News. Be

: Have the angels.come for you? May I. presume.to urge you, whoever you

are, however busy. your. life ‘is, wherever you happen to-be on’ the way, ‘to
“step back from. life: to-know that God's: Spirit ‘leads us into the
wilderness: to welcome that opportunity: to allow it by scheduling it: to
take time and to. make the place. .

2 ; “You know. that to take Jesus Christ seriously is to be radically

involved in the life of the world. You know that the purpose. of the

enterprise is not. a:new. monasticism and that our conclusion is that the

desert fathers got it. wrong and went too far. But - may I remind you — and
myself ~ that God calls us, as well, to be alone. God calls us to step os
back from life on occasion, to sort it all out, to see where we've been and
“where we're going, to rearrange some priorities and make some new plans,

but primarily to rediscover our own self, to recover our own soul, to
encounter the God who is always there for us. May I propose that we not
fail to be where the angels can find us? Amen.

Holy God, slow us down. Silence in us any voice but
your own. Quiet us long enough so we can hear the
silence out of which your Bord is spoken... In the
days of Lent, give us courage to go into a wilderness,
te contend with temptation, to affirm our doubts and
anxieties, to be open and honest with ourselves and
with you. And then, God of grace and mercy, be with
us. Strengthen us, enliven us, in Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.