birth, who claws and scrapes himself up the ladder was given
es fsmer et a]

something - the strength and determination in the act of
SS ST Seiad ein

abandonment. | Jesus suggested that it is a far happier thing

to know tbat - to confess our poverty, for instance, if we

ea
were to be deprived the love and friendship of others, than
SE - ee...

to pretend as if we were self-sufficient.
a a aad

a

e real crisis of happiness is best understood in cate

gories variously described as the "Me Generation" by Tom
Sa Se.

Wolfe, jthe New Narcissism by Christopher Lasch€, or plain

old "sin" by St. Paut, \ Happiness, according to the bottom
==
line in our culture is doing what I want to do when I want
ee SS, eS Se ae

to do it.

I was intrigued to discover that Alexds de Tocqueville
eae => ara
observed the fatal flaw of selfishness in our culture 150
Dei aad Dee

years ago. Said he: | No power on earth can prevent the

increasing equality of conditions. .. from leading every member
of the community to be wrapped up in himseit. \.nd_no one
can fortell into what disgrace and wretchedness they would
plunge themselves lest they should have to sacrifice some-

thing of their well-being to the prosperity of their fellow

creatures | (Time Magazine, 6/4/79) —

Jeffrey Hadden, writing in Psychology Today recently

=

labeled it the "Inward Generation" \ x20 wrote: ( "It is the

generation which gives absolute _pfiority to the personal

and which tends, in a remarks¥e way, to withdraw into the

self." f _

The definitive

tudy however, was done by Christopher

Lasch, The New Narcissism. | Narcissus was the young man in

Greek mythology who fell in love with his own reflection in
MT, a |

a pool of water .\ Narcissism, as the word is used today, is
SET ae

simply the total preoccupation with the self: \ self-awareness,
wwe ee

self-discovery, |se1zgrovth, \se1 Liberation |sol foattirmetion,
i, +L cM j= § |}. s<iiMmtWemeseenteireer”

self-gratification. It is, frankly, our obsession: | some
mmc EEE

L ol

would say our real religion, our latest idolatry.

| nl
oy
Listen to Lasch describe it: | "After the political tur-
macy een
moii of the sixties Americans have retreated to purely per-

Lineal

sonal pregceuations.\ Having no hope for improving their

ir

lives in any of the ways that matter, people have convinced

—— ee

themselves that what matters is psychic self-improvement,

eating health food, taking lessons in ballet or belly dancing,
al De a ineeeininnell ae

immersing themselves in the wisdom of the Bast, jogging,

learning how to relate, overcoming the fear_of Blut fut

(The Culture of Narcissism, p. 29) ie aa
ah~ he Y te

We have, I am convinced, been sold a bill of goods:\
CC ee

matter that we have sold ourselves on the idea that gratifi-
oe eel

=

cation of the self is the prerequisite for feeling happy.
, il

Using the sophisticated new vocabularies cheerfully provided

by "pop" psychology,we have been convinced that selfishness is,

So
after all, honestiy human, therefore OK.4 What people before
us called egotism, we call self-attimation | suadenl ceit

is really self-confidence ;\arrogance, - self-—assurance ;

grabbing.

— grasping for life, the honest Sion of one's
— — a =m

needs.

New therapies have suggested that ideas like self-sacri-
Se a ES a a
fice and self-denial,\ sacrificial love are oppressive, dan-
SS RET» ie

gerous to mental health, outrightly neurotic.\ (Heti-ne,se
ae -

WwW ; i m
Ser.
a

the-e-Lot ive mend tei fhe set in
TST TE @ Slee
aa 8 ReFeatn te © ss
ad Rr egy re
c Lasch comments: (70 liberate humanity from such
ens ey ES SS

outmoded ideas of love and duty has become the mission of the
ass

pos t-Freudian therapies and particularly their current popu-
SE iter Oe ae

larizers, for whom mental health means the overthrow of
SS Te

inhibition and the immediate gratification of every impulse.

(Ibid., p. 43)

= the Christian
Ss

faith suggests today that we are quite simply, running on the

wrong track —- or marching to the wrong drummer - to badly mix
SSS

a pair of Hatagnanse The trouble with us is that what we're

‘ — 2 — '
doing isn't working. It isn't making us happy, \fecsany

thing inst. : eucgest

piseltas themes, | Sexual liberation, apparently, isn't
ESTAS aE
making anybody happier \ The research seems to indicate that
——s aa
an obsession with self, in sexual terms, has not_turned us
er SE TL eae eee beeen

on so much as turned on us, as Martin Luther said it would

eS SS eS Se

in his famo description of sin as the self curving in on
COTE DA Ady , Pnfack,

itself.| New sexeet=feeedom seems to be responsible for a
Cai ailiaaeai

|

considerable increase in unhappiness, frustration and sexual

dysfunction. Christian faith suggests that the greatest
EIT TE

———— SSS ae

/~-, favor you can do for yourself is forget yourself.

Was -n—
One of my favorite people #s Joseph Sittler, Trewrred
Be |

Professor of Theology at the University of Chicago. | Dr.
yo Ses ee =
Sittler yf? good scholar, a man of rich humanity, who love
a |
the arts and people and God and life, and I have learned very
Sasa SS

pee SSS EE

much from hiqas a young student, but now as a mature reader.

er Ee eens
On the occasion of his 75th birthday lastefetl the Christian

it
Century interviewed nim. | Listen to Joe Sittler on the subject

er

of Finding and Knowing Yourself:

"People frequently ask me how to find and know the self.
Let me be quite personal.| In my reflection, I have come to the

surprising conclusion that I have never asked that question;

A

it seems to be a traumatic one for many, but it has never

ee

been of concern to me. \m a sense, I have been greatly

blessed by having had a modest self-image as a child. \r have

ie

a very smart_older brother and a very beautiful older sister.

ese

I was just a third kid, and therefore I would simply open my

eyes and look around and gawk and enjoy whatever there was to

a, ———

enjoy. |By never asking who I was, I developed a self without

pressing the question.

"Young people often come to me and say :('I may drop out

—

of school or leave this place or quit my job » I've got to

go off by myself and find out who I am.' \Well, I can under-

—

stand the pathos of the situation and what motivates their
eee

feeling and can be patient with their convictions.\ At the

ee

same time, I'm very dubious as to success.
a eS

(vou find that your self emerges more quickly if you do

ee —

——===

not keep scratching the question. al you lose your life, you

a

find it, or it could be that it will find you. \ you will say:
"Now that seems to be what I am, or what I'd like to ao." ) I
on't think you go to some sterile, barren land filled with

sagebrush and gaze at your navel to find out who you are." |

a

(Christian Century, 9/26/79, p. 915-916).

The Christian faith suggests that you will discover
‘ee ee...

yourself by forgetting yourself for a while:\ that the meaning
[ee == Se
of your existence may emerge, not after a long inward jour-
eee SS aia

ney of introspection, but in some grand task which cal

to give yourself to it ae \,

When Victor Frankl] talks about the meaning of life I
ee Se ees

listen. |Frankl is an Austrian Psychiatrist, a Jew who sur-
ETE.

vived Auschawitz.| He has written a remarkable little book

————_— SST

under the title The Unconscious God. Listen to a few vignettes:

"...The more one forgets oneself -— giving oneself to a

ieee teed

cause or another person - the more human he is| -Happiness is
Seer. *

a —

the side effect of living out the self transcendence of

existence. \|...once one has served a cause or is involved

ce

in loving another human being, happiness occurs by itself...

=

pleasure and happiness are by - proauets..| |

...Happiness must ensue. | It cannot be pursued." rai

Unconscious God, p. 79, 84, 85)

It's risky business, obviously. (ro care deeply enough
‘SCREEN cee ————— eae

about something or someone to commit yourself is to risk
UMA MAME

=

getting hurt. \ 7° Sit_in_a meeting and_speak to a concern

about which you care deeply is always to risk feeling foolish.
eisai: —--

See =

10

To hug a friend or weep for joy or clap in church or sing

the National Anthem when everyone around you is standing
ee

in stoney silence - is always to risk appearing foolish \ To
ST,

run for office is to risk Special and exquisite pain.\ To

apply for Medical School is to risk having to deal with

rejgotion \ To run a race is to risk coming in dead last.

And to give everything precious about yourself to another

in love is to risk the greatest hurt of all.
ee:

Happiness seems to dictate a prudent sense of security.

=
And the very moment we start thinking like that, the possi-
———— Lune

bilities for happiness become very remote. aN Cmts

C. S. Lewis said it all. |:# I had opportunity to read just
See

Se

one paragraph to you, this would be it:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and

your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If
you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your
heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully
round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entangle-
ments; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfish-
ness. But in the casket, dark, motionless, airless, it will
change. It will not be broken: it will become unbreakable...
The alternative to tragedy, or at least the risk of tragedy

is damnation. The only place outside heaven where you can

be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is hell."

(The Four Loves)