ORIGINAL GIFT —

“December 24, 1989.00 <

8:30 and..11:00-a i. - Worship: Services

; The. most ° engag: ng: responsibil
“water. doesn! t" freeze before morning:

, Sure. ‘the

"The: winter: hight: requires ‘our constant attention
Watching: that water: ‘and good will?
“Warmth and well’ being, may” still be
ra in. the: morning.” :

Then the, angels, appear -

- "onto: you a child is born

cAnd: frigid silence.
“Meditates a song” :
“For ‘great joy has- filled
“The narrow and -the sad."

‘The shepherds cry. -
het. “US. run to learn

“Howto love and run
Let us run to Love."

“And out on the hillside the chorus. says:

eandIes.

: ‘Those: gifts we made: were ‘gifts of great love: ‘and: we: “brought. them
home and hid them under’ the bed or in the closet with. mounting 23

'-- anticipation, and then finally gave them with: “noble. intent and. hearts:
_bareeing with love. : =: a

“How. very wise. “it was. How wise of those. patient. ‘tBachers who” oo:
~ Antroduced. to us’the. joy: OF. ‘giving. ourselves in. our’: Tove. ‘How: wise. of. “the
recipients of those modest. gifts: who oohed- and, aahed: and told: ous: how:

"pleased they, ‘were

“WALLS val, “ay Pun: to- Bethlehew,”
g. in. othe: world we se eed to. love:.

Now, in that simple and potentially maudlin sentence there is’a very
ambitious intellectual proposition...

More than anything we need to love.

We-are, Judith Viorst says, “wired for love." In her bestseller,
Necessary Losses," Ms. Viorst, out of her owtt psychotherapeutic experience
and study, proposes an alternative to the Freudian theory that we love
because our mothers fed us and we forever equate oral gratification. with
that person who feeds us if we are good. The alternative she says is that
we are “wired for love from the start... that the need for human connection
is fundamental..." iNecessary Losses, p. 19]

The late Reuel Howe, Episcopal priest and theologian, taught many of
us in his. many books, and at his Institute For Advanced Pastoral Studies,
about the spiritual dimension of our relationships, and therefore the
connections between psychology and theology. Dr. Howe helped us put in a.
theological context what psychologists were beginning to teach us about
emotional health and healthy relationships: namely that the ability to love
is fundamental to our humanity, and that the ability is given to us as.we _
are laved. We awaken the ability to love in children, he told parents; by’
loving them unconditionally... And withoul that love, without that sense of
unconditional acceptance, the theological term for which is grace, we-are
condemhed to a lifetime of trying to demonstrate ovr worth, earn-our
acceptance, Win someone's lave...

We are, it would seem, made for love. Wher we jose the ability to”
love, we lose something essential to our humanity. Dostoevsky said: “I
am convinced: that the only hel} which exists is the inability to love."

One of the theologians whose thinking and writing is attracting
attention today is Canadian, Douglas John Hall. In a fascinating recent
book, Imaging God, Hall explores the contemporary meaning of the somewhat
perplexing: doctrine that human beings are created in God's image.

Thorough scholar that he is, Hall comes at the topic from every
conceivable direction and concludes that God's image in ws is our ability
to live in relationship with others...

“fhe single, simple and even obvious. point... is that we are created
for relationship... 'leve' is the essence of our humanity as
the creator intends.” [p. 119]

er

That-is an elegant way of saying “we are wired for love.

Hall goes in deeper. Tn philosophic categories, he proposes that
“being as such" is relational. “thiman being" does not even exist in the
abstract; he says a self-made, independent, totally autonomous human
being is a contradiction in terms. We are human, only in relationship:

Or, as St. Paul put it, “even if T have prophetic powers, can speak in many
languages, have all knowleree, and have not love, J am nothing.”

And then Wall helps us see that the Judea-Christian tradition wakes a
lveathtaking a#sserijan about God. As tuman burirpes ere: fama oudy ir

VAN tA PAR

relationship, so-it is with. God. "There is no interest - -in our tradition in
_God alone," he says. God is God only in relationship... Ttyissthe pature.
of. God ° to be in relationship. ee

a “The Biblical God. is: ~ bug sy. from the first: sentence. of. Genesis making.
“beings ‘who can participate... - TD will be. your.God’ and you: wil] be my

people.! Godis, means God loves. "Op, 1194

That. May be a little nebulous for the “day” before christmas. “What we

; noe. for sure is the mysterious power. of. human love. There. are many studies.

“now which document the fact that: pain, for instance, vis moderated. by-the |
°~touch of a human hand.” If: you have undergone major surgery I think. Yous. |
“probably know about that: how powerful, how: simply. good itis, “to feel the
“touch: Of a human hand, particularly if the dand | belongs. to. someone you
love.” : . : a

aed one Bernie. Siegel's popular book, ‘Love. “Medicine and. Miracies, is-
about his experience treating. critically ill: and. dying patients. “It's a

ooverye honest: book which has helped and encouraged and sustained. a lot: of:

very. Sick: people, Aneluding. a dear friend. of. mine: who. gave. it, tor me: before
she” died. . . :

“Love ‘sends: a live “message ‘te the body," he wrote. ; He.was treating. a

- weman- whose | fight with. malignancy was about” over. : Siegel. knew that: she had -
:.-a lot of Unresolved. conflict-‘with her husband: = She wanted: ‘simply t tovbe

“left. alone and to die alone “in cthe hospital. He took: a chance. — fle: ‘sent.

= her. home with the prescription: "Straighten. out. your relationship with

your: “husband.” She did.~ And she got better for a-while, "a ‘little healing
: miracle" he: called. itia three month remission ‘before she. died, - during -
which: she did ‘important. and. beautiful things with. her family.” - Tp. 709)

Br: Siegel is colvinced: that the reason Mother Teresa doesn’ to
contract. the tuberculosis ‘which many of: the dying: patients she helps are.
carrying, in fact: why it: is a health care truism: that ced heated d.doctors ang.
nurses do- not often: contract. the dread diseases’ ‘they treat, ~the- power. of”
“Teves: ang ‘am convinced," he says, sounding a. little: like “Paul in Romans
88 ‘that: unconditional love is the most powerful known - stimulant to the |
immune: system." [p. 181] >

; Siegel reports his: observation that many. critically ill people :
believe: there is a "flaw at the center of their being" and that. learning to
accept.and to give love conquers the: fear of death. "Death," che reports
~ one” of his patients saying, "is not the worst ‘thing. Life without: love is.

worse," or putting it positively - love conquers all, eveu death:

“One of the great privileges of ministry is ta witness that inthe
lives: of brave peaple and somehow to bear witness to, it. :

; And - ‘sa, the greatest. “pitt we have been given, the original gift, i
the ability te fove. [lt comes, of course, invthe form of someone else! s0
Jove, for us. We are enabled Lo love, empowered to love as we are loved.
But. the best of us, the original pift, the image of God in us, isthe
ability to be lovers.

3

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To lose that - by cruel circumstance - being deprived of the. secure
jove of parents, or worse yet by neglect and abuse, to lose the ability to
love because we are afraid of the risks, or by simpie self-centeredness, is
to lose the best part of ourselves, the most delightful and delectable
possibilities of our own lives. It is also to distance ourselves from-the
God who is love.

Reuel Howe put that in a way J have never forgotten:

"We do not find love by looking for it: we find it by giving it.
And when. we find love by loving, we find God... Our Lord gave his love
generously, not in order that we might he loved, but that we might be free
to love one another.... If someone came to me and asked, ‘How can I find
God?' I would answer, 'Go find someone to love and you will find God."
{Herein is Love, p. 45]

I was reminded of that when I read in the paper recently about.
Columbus-Maryville Reception Center on West Belmont, a program which deals
with the increasing numbers of drug addicted new born infants. Babies born
with cocaine or heroin addiction undergo classic withdrawal from what
amounts to a “nine-month high." Some cry for hours and cannot be consoled.
Some become as stiff as a two by four when you try to hold them. Some -
shake all-over. Some can't keep food down at all. They are in serious
medical trouble. There are only two things medical science knows what to
do for a cocaine baby —- submerge him in warm water, or hold him, cuddle
him.

And so there are volunteers: 120 women and 20.men who volunteer as
cuddlers. “Cuddling helps keep addicted babies alive" announced the
headline.

“Tf. you want to find God, go find someone to love.”

It- reminded me of the people who tutor, who visit the lonely at- Cook
County Hospital, Cook County Jail, people who spend Saturday painting an
apartment at Cabrini-Green or installing bathroom fixtures in a Habitat: for
Humanity house or cooking meals for the homeless, or working in shelters.
It reminded me of the thousands of volunteer hours invested in the madest
effort of enhancing life for other human beings - helping those on the
outside looking in know that someone knows they're there

It is our calling as a community of Christian people, our privilege
to express to others the mysterious power of Jove: to be a community of
lave where lonely, isolated individnals, poor and homeless, or affluent and
upwardly mobile, are welcomed, accepted and loved.

More than anything in the world we need to love. And if we know
anything at al] about this topic, it is that we learn ta love as we learn
that we are loved. It may require being accessible, being vulnerable,
open, accepting: being receptive to love often means being quiet and
listening very carefully...

1Visne faa

; Robert Fulghun tells how his daughter gave “him A brown’ paper bag one |
time. ““In- the bag were useless items: a few ribbons, . three stones, =a
: plastic’ dinosaur, -two dried up chocolate kisses, and how. without: thinking;
: he took it to work, looked: in it and threw it. away. When he came. home from
“work. his daughter asked for the Paper bag. He asked why and she said that
7 it contained things she liked. She said, "You didn't lose it,>.did ‘you? 1
forgot to put a note in." The note she handed him said, “I love you -
daddy." So; back to work he went and he and the janitor, who. -WaS a@- parent

and. understood, emptied cut al] the trash -on the desk top until: they found
-the. bag cand | its modest: contents.

-Bulghum writes: "Molly had given me her treasures. AIL that a
_seven- -year-old held dear. Love ina paper SACK.. there wasn't anything. —
there I. needed. Dear Godt"- nana

“So love is easy to miss sometimes. You really do have to be ready
~.. for it, have to wait for its coming, have to -listen and watch because it
“comes. in “a Popsicle stick pencil holder, or an unexpected embrace, or.
“undeserved forgiveness. Love comes quietly in generous gestures. of caring

and” compassion and kindness and one time it came when a baby was born in.
Bethlehem

“It is the nature of the divine to love; it is.God's dearest, “nost

7 precious. hope, that. you-and I will learn to love by accepting ‘the. original
~ gift. : God’ s love in Jesus: Christ.

-So the poet has the: shepherds long ago -

“run to learn

How to love and run
Let us run to love.
All, all, all of them,
Run to Bethlehem.”

“ALL we can dois run = ali of us —- run to. Bethlehem. And. ‘there,

. receive. gratefully and extend to others the love we have been given, the:
original gift.

“What. can I give him. Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, . T would bring .a lamb;
If T-were a wiseman, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give him --
Give my heart."

Amen! .

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°12/24/89